Broken and (Still Whole)

To be broken is to be set apart, to be not whole and not complete. But what happens when you feel complete internally and yet still feel broken, both internally and externally? What happens when you have to really sit with your brokenness, yet you are at peace? What happens when the world and religion tell you that you must be whole to do good and sow God's work?

My Story of Functional Brokenness

I remember a time when I felt more broken than complete. I had confessed Jesus as Lord, chased after marriage, and desperately sought that 'ideal' life. Yet, underneath the surface, a deep sense of incompleteness gnawed at me. I appeared to have it all together, holding everything in place for everyone else. I call it being functionally broken – smiling, serving, and seemingly thriving, while inside, I felt crushed under the weight of unmet expectations and unspoken pain.

The dissonance was deafening. I was told that in Christ, I was a new creation, whole and complete. But the reality of my daily experience felt starkly different. The struggle was real, and the shame of feeling 'less than' was crippling.

An Encounter with Healing

Then, I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit that changed everything. It wasn't a dramatic, overnight transformation. Instead, it was a gentle, persistent unveiling of truth. A journey of healing began, with spiritual fulfillment coming in small doses. I began to understand that wholeness wasn't the absence of brokenness, but the presence of God within the broken places.

This realization was revolutionary. It meant that I didn't have to wait until I was 'perfect' to be used by God. My imperfections, my vulnerabilities, my brokenness – these weren't liabilities, but opportunities for God's power to be displayed.

Broken But Still Whole

I learned that you can be broken but still whole. You can be simultaneously fractured and complete. It’s not about denying the reality of your pain or pretending to be something you're not. It's about acknowledging your brokenness and inviting God to meet you right there, in the midst of it all.

God doesn't need us to be perfect to work through us. In fact, it's often in our brokenness that His light shines brightest. It's in our weakness that His strength is made perfect. So, embrace your brokenness. Let it be a reminder of your humanity, your need for grace, and the boundless love of a God who sees you, knows you, and uses you – broken and still whole.